Posted by sar on October 3, 2001, at 21:56:38
In reply to Re: suicidal pms, posted by fluffykitty on October 2, 2001, at 11:36:11
that's a neet metaphor. i don't know what i believe concerning death and where we go, ect, but i love artful theories like that...
i took a psychology course years ago and learned that "self-actualization" is the highest human personality stage one can get to...and not too many do, but it's the point at which you are completely okay with yourself. like completely--this is my belly, my intellect, these are my faults, this is me--i'm fine with this.
in the process of trying to kill myself twice, i thought both times that i'd reached self-actualization. i felt really light and euphoric both times. but both times it did not work, and perhaps that meant that i didn't truly want to die, i just felt like dying and healing all at once.
they do say that death is the hardest on those left behind, but what of us with no spouses, no one who truly truly truly does care, blood sweat tears and spit?
i think death must be most difficult on the one who is dying: the finalization involved. suicides make ppl feel guilty, but the dirty stigma is still attached.
i was born into this life without choice. i think i want my life to be good. i think i want a career, a job, a child...at this point though, i'm straggling, struggling, sweating, getting nowhere, all ready a bundle of problems...
i recently got burned some on the WTC thread, but i'll say what i think about suicide...i think it's completely righteous. i think it's natural and pure. murder is far worse tham suicide.
i think we should be able to decide whether or not we want to hang around.
ahhhh trials & tribulations...
i'm still around, i think there's an incredible will to live, but...i feel pleased with CHOICE.
your ever-contro' poster,