Posted by Racer on September 12, 2001, at 1:19:23
In reply to Re: Sex, committment, old lovers, regrets -- all that » Racer, posted by Shar on September 11, 2001, at 11:53:42
> Hi, Racer--
> Good to see that Moniker again!
>
> Do you and your SO have ANY kind of physical closeness? Hold hands while walking, snuggle in bed, pat butts, hugs of different kinds, arm around shoulder, sit close on the sofa?That's what's so horrible about this: yes, we have closeness: but only when there's NO chance whatsoever of it leading to sex. He'll cuddle me in the kitchen. He pets my bottom the way he does the cat's every morning while I cook, but only if it's a weekday when we have to go to work. He gets big when he sees me naked IF we're already late somewhere.
What happened when this started? Three things: my cousin/brother and his wife got pregnant. I had a miscarriage which I worked hard not to let him know about. (I know, but I didn't even tell him I was pregnant -- knowing it would end so soon. That's my tragedy: I want children so much, but have miscarried so many times I won't even say I'm pregnant until I've passed the ninth week) And I had an orgasm that shook the world. (His last girlfriend told him that he was the only reason she didn't like sex. He's told me that he never managed to bring a woman to orgasm before me -- he's almost 40 -- so I suppose he's a little intimidated by a responsive woman.)
My therapist and I have discussed this. I really do think he's a bit afraid of my sexual responsiveness. Mind you, my ex told our marriage counselor that he didn't like sex with me because I came too easily -- he wanted more of a challenge!!!! She laughed at him, told me half of her clients wanted to meet me, the other half wanted to BE me. Anyway, I can understand that he might be overwhelmed by me, but still -- that's his problem. My problem is that I'm in love with a man who won't touch me in a sexual way and I really, really want sex. Hell, I don't even care if it's got the "L" word involved! I'm climbing the damn walls here, and my vibrator just ain't cutting it!
Thanks for listening.
And for the lumpish cntingent: I lost my cookies and my bookmarks and can't find the compass points to get back there. Is it still there?
poster:Racer
thread:11024
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010909/msgs/11228.html