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Re: missing fiance » sar

Posted by adamie on August 16, 2001, at 20:55:56

In reply to Re: missing fiance » adamie, posted by sar on August 16, 2001, at 16:59:28

> dear adamie,
>
> your messages concern me. you don't need any more friends because of your fiancee? sounds like putting all of yr eggs in one basket to me. that doesn't sound very helpful. who will you hang out when you need time away from her (and, i guarantee, if you marry, you will, no matter how much you are in love). who will you discuss your marital problems with?

that is nonsense. that is the case with typical people but not us. Before the depression everything was perfect and it still in the sense that nothing has changed between us. And what do you know about love? Putting all eggs in one basic is a risk? Relationships shouldn't be a game but I guess to you they are. Is all you care about is how everything goes for you and not your significant other?

And no we would never take any time away from eachother. that is disgusting.

And discuss marital problems? Gossip about my fiance? Such things are all common for typical people but not for us. If we were to so much as get into one arguement there would be clearly something wrong. we are perfect for eachother and such things could never happen. and everything will be like it has been when I recover.

> it sounds as if you love her very much, and i respect that. to put so much stock into one person, though...i work in a bookstore and one of our bestsellers is a book on co-dependency. this seems like a problem many people have. it can be very destructive.

we know everything about eachother and there is no doubt between us so there are no worries.

> depression is a terrible mindframe/illness. it has great capability of destroying relationships, careers, credibility, etc.

that happens because the other person doesn't fully understand the ilness their loved one is going through. And also depression itself makes it harder to show love towards someone. but my fiance is understanding. she knows I will be better in time. And even if I wouldn't be there is no doubt for her that she would always want to be with me. Ever heard of through sickness and in health? people simply dont take marriage seriously.

> i am only 23 (there are some wiser elders on this board) but this is what i figure: PERSONAL STRENGTH. get it together man, with the help of doctors or whatever. you need more than your fiancee. your relationship may be unique...but whose isn't?
>
> sar

One who is trully depressed cannot just get it together. would getting it together cure one's cancer? I have been going through quite a bit of mind torture.

and regarding my ilness of course I need more than my fiance. but that is different. of course being with her wouldn't restore the chemicals in my brain but at least I would be safer. well bye.


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