Posted by JennyR on July 12, 2001, at 22:41:40
In reply to speaking of love..., posted by paula on July 12, 2001, at 0:38:38
I am married a long time, and struggle with very similar things. I fell out of love long ago. I wonder if the problems in the relationship led to my depression problems, or I don't feel the love because I had a general blunting of feeling most of my life.
I think a lot of this stuff has to do with how our original family related and what we saw our parents model. Mine never were close or affectionate, no terms of endearment, never said "I love you" to each other or us 2 kids. So now I can feel no love - for my husband, my parents. Although in all cases they haven't treated me as they should have. But I'm thinking maybe I'd be better at love if I had seen it modeled as a kid.
I can feel it for my kids, but I think that's a more primal, maternal thing.
If depressives do have a general blunting of affect, it would make sense for love to be a problem area.
Though I'm married a long time, I think I have barriers to closeness. So I think you can even be in a relationship and have barriers.
My problem is not being too dependent, I'm too much the opposite, and I've taken care of his neediness all these years.
Anyway, I don't understand love either.
poster:JennyR
thread:7325
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010706/msgs/7359.html