Posted by paula on July 12, 2001, at 16:03:41
In reply to Love is possible with depression, posted by Anna Laura on July 12, 2001, at 3:44:09
> > You aint weird I'm weirder than the average. Two plutontic friends and a pussycat. So many relationships[not that slapper's my middle name]
> > Had relationship for five years; always magical in the beggining, feel alive then boredom comes.
> > Trust no-one but try to keep an open mind then the door of love will stay ajar.I've yet to fall deep.
> > A wise-ity for the youth, although I'm a springing chicken, beware of the living together it doesn't work well for depressives. One day it's sugar in their tea the next it's salt.
> > Jump aboard the love train .
>
>
> I think you gave a right advice when you said that's good to keep an open mind, so that the door of love will stay ajar. I definitely agree with you on that point.
> I don't agree about the youth love stuff you were talking about (one day is sugarly next day could be salty).
> The most important relationship of my life actually took place in my early twenties: i was depressed already, divorced already (got married when i was 18: it was pure hell: absolutely no sugar in my tea)
> WelI, that year I was sick already, (i was 21) still, i trusted this person for the very first time in my life: i didn't have any clue what trust was about before that. I thought it was about being blind, not seeing the person's flaws, being naive, etc...The real trust it's about seeing the person as he/she is and love him/her despite of this.
> It's about accepting the person as he/she really is. And you can do that even if you're depressed:i believe love manages to penetrate deep inside of you in spite of depression, sadness and despair. I know that's possible because i've experienced it.
> I had a very strong tie with this guy, it made mature: we have been together for five years; we're still in touch. It was 1991 when we met: i was scary at first, after ten years i can say it was worthy.
> Can i still do that? Unfortunately not. I think i grew more cynical, i'm much less open-hearthed/minded then i used to be.
> I wish i could feel that way again. Strange thing is that i was much sicker/depressed then i am right now (my problem is mainly anhedonia at the moment).
>
AnnaLaura,Excellent point about the trust issue. I guess I hadn't thought about it that way because the closest brushes with love that I've had have resulted in quietly catastrophic breaches of trust.
This may sound silly, but how do you know you have anhedonia? Is there an official diagnosis of that? I think that my long-term depression could just as easily be categorized in such a way.
So do you agree with the saying "better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?" Having never been in a real, honest-to-goodness *relationship* I can only judge from the outside looking in. (Isn't that always the way with depression?)
Paula
poster:paula
thread:7325
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010706/msgs/7344.html