Posted by Marie1 on July 15, 2001, at 9:28:23
In reply to Re: speaking of love...yes possible 20 years..., posted by Lorraine on July 14, 2001, at 22:45:57
> Just wanted to say that I have a wonderful loving relationship with my husband of 20 years. Things are tough sometimes because I am depressed. So sometimes my sexual desire is no where to be found. Sometimes I spend "datenight" crying. But I bring a lot to the relationship. I am incredibly willing to be vulnerable (do i have a choice?), I am insightful, I truly appreciate the good times, I have an emotional depth that most people do not have the misfortune of developing,
Lorraine -
The "emotional depth" you refer to - I'm afraid that's what I may be missing. And I don't remember if I had it BD (before depression). Except for my kids, I don't feel in touch with deep emotions. I've noticed other posters saying basically the same thing, and I wonder - did it come with depression? Or was it there all along? BTW, since the primal love I feel for my kids is still there, I wonder if perhaps it's stored in a different part of the brain?
>and I do the best I can with the resources I have at that moment. There is a emotional blossoming that happens in depression, a depth of understanding and compassion that other people do not haveDoes this emotional blossoming occur when you are in remission? or do you think it's a by-product of suffering the depression (while you are still depressed)?
>(unless they are near death--i mean this), these are strengths. Anyway, I sound like I am bragging I'm sure--
I don't think you're bragging at all; Im envious of your being able to hold on to the depth of feeling you have for your husband. I'd give anything to get that back.
>(i'm not), but I think I'm an incredible wife and mother--in part because I realize how fragile and tender life is.
>
> I do remember having the conversation with my husband a couple of years ago, when I said "this isn't the duty that you signed on for when we got married".I also remember, during the worst parts of my illness, asking my husband to please kill me; I said I'd leave a note letting him off the hook. Good thing he never took me up on it! :-)
>I suppose people with MS have that same conversation with their spouses.
>
> What can I say? Depression sucks, but being married doesn't and loving people is essential.I'm sincerely glad to hear of your positive relationship with your husband. I think maybe my spouse and I should do couples counseling but so far he's been against it. It may get to the point where we can't put it off.
Take care.
Marie
poster:Marie1
thread:7325
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010706/msgs/7451.html