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When to terminate therapy

Posted by Rzip on June 26, 2001, at 19:51:38

Hi everyone,

I have been seeing this therapist off and on for the past six months. By "off and on", I mean every week for a six week period; stop for a month; and then see him for another 5-6 weekly period. Since seeing him, I have gotton better. I feel more grounded and more positive about my current life, and my future outlook feels much more hopeful and brighter. I feel pretty competent to handle whatever life throws at me. I am thinking about terminating my therapy.

I have brought up the issue regarding my ambivalence of continuing therapy in our session. He suggests that I continue on. He does not seem too encouraging with the idea of helping me terminate our relationship. He would not help me set a date to thrive for.

What should I do?

I guess to break it down, I really do not have a good reason to quit:
1) On an equal footing, I want to terminate because I am getting too attached to him. I will be moving away in about a year. I always have an issue with separation anxieties. I really enjoy our sessions. I savor them. But good things do not last. I want to stop because I fear getting too deep or get too attached. Which are not very good reasons for termination, I know. The other reason, on a equal footing is the financial aspect. I pay, out of pocket $60/session because I do not want to use insurance. It might hinder my future employment chances. So, I do want this therapy experience to be a solely private affair.

2) Since I only see my therapist once a week or once every two weeks, it is only supportive therapy. In that light, I am not sure I am in need of his support any longer. I seem to have gained the insight to help myself now.

3) What I am most in need is a good mentor. My therapist can never be the mentor that I seek for because we can not have outside contact. I think in defense, my therapist would say that he is helping me to find that mentor outside of session. It is true that I only trust therapists to lean on thus far. So, is it fair to say that I should terminate therapy when I find a good mentor outside? I don't know.

In a way this experience sucks, a big bummer because just when I feel secure and satisfied that I have found someone to lean on, to seek support, that person has to be my therapist. Big bummer! Pout :-( Why should I invest more money and energy into this if it will never bear fruit? I feel very ambivalent about this. Any suggestions?

- Rzip


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