Posted by Shar on June 26, 2001, at 23:21:43
In reply to When to terminate therapy, posted by Rzip on June 26, 2001, at 19:51:38
Hi, Rzip.
IMHO it sounds like maybe you would benefit talking with your therapist about why you are IN therapy, rather than about terminating. That might be informative and helpful for you.
Also, if you have clear goals for yourself in therapy, what you want to get out of it, it lessens the sense of confusion that can occur. I still get the "is this the right path" idea, and it helps that I can look where I am in light of my own goals and see how much progress I've made (or not).
Bottom line is you pay this therapist to help you attain something, and it only makes sense that you and he have an idea of what that is. The fewer thought balloons there are in therapy, the more likely it is we will benefit and grow and learn.
Good luck,
Shar
> Hi everyone,
>
> I have been seeing this therapist off and on for the past six months. By "off and on", I mean every week for a six week period; stop for a month; and then see him for another 5-6 weekly period. Since seeing him, I have gotton better. I feel more grounded and more positive about my current life, and my future outlook feels much more hopeful and brighter. I feel pretty competent to handle whatever life throws at me. I am thinking about terminating my therapy.
>
> I have brought up the issue regarding my ambivalence of continuing therapy in our session. He suggests that I continue on. He does not seem too encouraging with the idea of helping me terminate our relationship. He would not help me set a date to thrive for.
>
> What should I do?
>
> I guess to break it down, I really do not have a good reason to quit:
> 1) On an equal footing, I want to terminate because I am getting too attached to him. I will be moving away in about a year. I always have an issue with separation anxieties. I really enjoy our sessions. I savor them. But good things do not last. I want to stop because I fear getting too deep or get too attached. Which are not very good reasons for termination, I know. The other reason, on a equal footing is the financial aspect. I pay, out of pocket $60/session because I do not want to use insurance. It might hinder my future employment chances. So, I do want this therapy experience to be a solely private affair.
>
> 2) Since I only see my therapist once a week or once every two weeks, it is only supportive therapy. In that light, I am not sure I am in need of his support any longer. I seem to have gained the insight to help myself now.
>
> 3) What I am most in need is a good mentor. My therapist can never be the mentor that I seek for because we can not have outside contact. I think in defense, my therapist would say that he is helping me to find that mentor outside of session. It is true that I only trust therapists to lean on thus far. So, is it fair to say that I should terminate therapy when I find a good mentor outside? I don't know.
>
> In a way this experience sucks, a big bummer because just when I feel secure and satisfied that I have found someone to lean on, to seek support, that person has to be my therapist. Big bummer! Pout :-( Why should I invest more money and energy into this if it will never bear fruit? I feel very ambivalent about this. Any suggestions?
>
> - Rzip
poster:Shar
thread:6835
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010622/msgs/6841.html