Posted by Craig on March 29, 2001, at 2:39:10
In reply to Re: Again to Craig (may have some triggering stuff, posted by judy1 on March 28, 2001, at 19:37:45
You don't need to worry about triggering me or saying anything that you think might bother me. I'm OK with reading about this.
For good reasons, we both fear hospitals. No amount of reassurance from anyone seems to help us deal with it. Somehow we are supposed to convince ourselves that although the last 10 times we were in the hospital it was a disaster, this time it will be different. I want to believe that. I want to trust that the people there won't make things worse for me, even if they can't make them any better. Isn't that what everybody wants? If your therapist knows how upset it makes you to talk about the hospital, what point is she trying to make by talking about it? I wouldn't think that topic of conversation is helping you and your pdoc seems to agree. I know that avoiding everything that people don't want to talk about wouldn't be very therapeutic, but couldn't she agree to let this one slide? As I recall, your pdoc had said you didn't have to go into the hospital, but this was probably more than a week ago. Unless their criteria for admission changes, they shouldn't need to bring up the subject.
What is the sequence of events, if you know, that sets off the cutting? Is it anxiety to dissociation to cutting? How strong must the trigger be to set off the anxiety? Can you identify some specific triggers? If I remember right, you've said that you have run out of doctor's offices on your first meeting because of something they said. Maybe I'm looking to be too specific and this is due more to your panic disorder than the dissociation.
When I'm feeling my worst, I've found that trying to keep myself distracted works better than anything. When I can't concentrate, I have to find very simple things to do. (I could make you a list of my "sorting projects.") Just being outside with your animals in nice weather sounds fine. It's still cold here in Michigan.
I'm thinking of you Judy, and I know what it's like to feel that no one understands. Keep writing to me and I'll keep listening.
poster:Craig
thread:5246
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010324/msgs/5330.html