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Re: Kinda worried

Posted by Mark H. on September 11, 2000, at 21:19:17

In reply to Kinda worried, posted by allisonm on September 10, 2000, at 17:37:10

Hi Allison,

I want to offer a different point of view, even if it might not apply to your situation.

Taking time off to heal and renew after a particularly stressful period at work is almost too humane and sensible for most of us to consider seriously. A boss who offers/suggests a medical leave (especially a fellow depression-sufferer) might be acting out of compassion and interest in your long-term value to the company. It might even be in your best interest to assume this is true, even if it isn't.

Speaking strictly for myself, when I am at my most depressed I am also most fearful, and I look for and see "betrayal" where there sometimes isn't any at all. My anger says more about where I am in my mood cycle than it does about anyone else's behavior.

As for responses (if any), others have already offered you many good suggestions. To your pallette of choices, I would just add another possibility:

"I really appreciate your support. I don't think I would benefit from a medical leave at this time (and my doctor agrees), but it's great that you are sensitive to my condition, value me as an employee, and would protect my job for me if I ever did find it necessary to take some extended time off."

Note that this documents the interaction and your understanding of it. If she doesn't contradict your understanding, it is reasonable to believe that she agrees with it. This works only if you present it in writing, of course, and keep a copy for yourself.

Generally, your employer cannot fire you for being on disability. In California, state disability begins paying after one week if you are unable to do your regular job.

Likewise, a person may not be discriminated against for having a physical or mental illness, and employers are required to make reasonable accommodations where possible -- but they need to know it exists.

All of this means that there is potential to take a seeming act of betrayal and reframe it in the best possible light, not only attributing qualities of generosity and understanding to your supervisor (which she either swallows and tries to live up to or has to contradict at the risk of looking like a complete jerk while exposing the company to liability) but also protecting your rights under both state and federal labor laws. It's a win-win option.

And another thing -- what if some time off really would do you some good? What if your doctor and your employer really would support you in taking time off? What if state disability insurance would cover most of your expenses during your time off, so that it wouldn't cost you or your employer too much?

I guess I'm really writing this for other people who might read this thread, Allison. Sometimes, working is the best therapy for my depression. At other times, it would be great to take some time off, and I would be grateful if my boss actually suggested or offered a medical leave rather than firing me or trying to drive me to quit.

I support you in whatever you believe is best in your situation.

Best wishes,

Mark H.


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poster:Mark H. thread:469
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20000813/msgs/498.html