Posted by happyflower on October 6, 2007, at 8:08:11
In reply to Narcissistic Mother/Parent + Dangers, posted by jacs on September 24, 2007, at 19:49:20
Hi Jacs,
I have read your post awhile ago, but I identified with it so much, it was hard to respond. I too had a mother who has a major personality disorder. She sounds a lot like your mother in ways. Especially about making other relatives pawns in her game.
After my father died, I had no reason to keep in contact with her. She did something really awful to brother, and after that I had to take my personal safety and my DH and kids safety in mind. I have had no contact with her since early 2000. It was the best thing I ever had to do. It wasn't easy because relatives would call and say horrible stuff and write, etc. But they didn't know her true self, they only saw the mask she very wore very well.
I tried to tell a few relatives on my dad's side of the family but because of their relgious beliefs, they can't except someone who doesn't "honor thy parents", even if she was an abusive monster. So I do feel somewhat abandoned by family members, but I am glad I have my own family, one that can hopefully grow without the outside influence of my "bad past".
I stopped the cycle of abuse when I had my kids, they will never have to know what it is like to grow up the way I did. In a way I had to disengage from my mother to keep my family and myself mentally and physically healthy.
I don't know if this helps, but I wanted to know you are not alone. Good luck
poster:happyflower
thread:784918
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20070210/msgs/787218.html