Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ

Re: trusting your T rockerr

Posted by Dinah on July 8, 2016, at 9:30:53

In reply to Re: trusting your T, posted by rockerr on July 8, 2016, at 6:58:02

I think what both of us were saying (or I was agreeing with at any rate) is that it's difficult to judge from a distance what's best in any particular case. I was seeing my therapist for five years before I made the first tiny step in trusting him. But because trust and rejection issues were at my core, it wasn't wasted time at all. But in other cases, a lack of trust could indicate that this isn't the right therapist for you.

However, you say you do trust that he cares about you, and it's more that you don't trust yourself as someone who is worthy to be cared for. I think that if you tell your therapist that, it could possibly be very helpful in clarifying what you mean when you tell him you don't trust that he cares for you.

My therapist and I had a good number of those conversations in those first five years and beyond. It helped to keep him from being discouraged in a sometimes frustrating relationship.

I don't think you can't be helped by therapy, or that you can't connect to others. If this is the right person to hang in there with and, as I always put it, "fight to relationship" with, then you and your therapist should commit to doing that. The reason my therapist *was* the right one wasn't based on his innate goodness of heart or loving selflessness or towering therapeutic skills. It was based on his willingness to commit to sticking in there with me even when one or both of us were wondering whether it would work. Some therapists might not have recognized that as a therapeutic virtue. :)

I should add that I got a lot of help here even when I felt misunderstood. Trying to explain my thoughts to others helped me clarify how I felt to myself. I would tell my therapist what I figured out, or even bring in posts for him to read.

 

Thread

 

Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post


Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.

 

Start a new thread

 
Google
dr-bob.org www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for
in

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:Dinah thread:1090209
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20150512/msgs/1090259.html