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Re: trusting your T

Posted by Dinah on July 7, 2016, at 18:39:36

In reply to Re: trusting your T, posted by baseball55 on July 7, 2016, at 10:37:02

I think Baseball (Hi, Baseball!) is right. It really does depend on your issues and on your specific relationship with your therapist. My relationship was based on a transference that was neither positive nor negative. There was a constant push/pull maternal transference. But then, trust and feelings of rejection were really a core issue for me.

What's really ironic was that after I learned to trust that he cared about me, he totally let me down. He told me after that he never would willingly have hurt me like that, and I told him that one of the worst parts was that I *still* totally believed he would never do what he did even while I acknowledged that that *is* exactly what he did.

Yet still, I think it was therapeutic to have learned to trust him. I think I may have learned that his behavior to me wasn't really personal, in some strange way. I learned (eventually - and only sometimes) some detachment. Which isn't a bad interpersonal lesson to learn. I'm not sure if I could explain that. Maybe that sometimes when people betray me, it really is more about them and their limitations than it is about me. That there is nothing more I could have done.

But that's me and my issues. It may be completely different for yours.




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