Posted by antigua3 on February 12, 2012, at 21:56:05
In reply to Happy is hard, posted by Daisym on January 11, 2012, at 0:44:04
Feeling happy and good about what's going on in my experience can also feel very threatening and dangerous. I've had to break the pattern (still getting there) that when something good happens/I feel good about myself, the other shoe is ready to drop and I anxiously wait for it. in time, I've learned that bad doesn't have to follow good, sometimes it's just the way life goes.
What i'm trying to say is enjoy the good, the good feelings, but know that yes, in many cases (mine I'm thinking of) feeling good can be a tremendous trigger. If I'm happy, does it mean i have to give up therapy? Am I letting secondary gains get in the way of really accepting that yes, I deserve these good things happen to me? Do I want to remain miserable so I have to stay in therapy.
I may be way off track here, but try to let yourself accept the good, let your brain rewire that message that you don't deserve to be happy. You do! You are doing so much better! But being happy is supposed to be a good thing, although for many of us it is very threatening.
You sound like you're doing well. keep at it.
all my best,