Posted by Daisym on January 11, 2012, at 0:44:04
Do you think being "happy" makes therapy harder? Or are we in therapy because being happy is hard?
When I find these pockets of joy, I want to hang on to them desperately and yet they bring up so much anxiety...that I'll get hurt, that anything that makes me happy will get taken away...that I'll lose my therapist because I'm not allowed to need him if I'm happy. I know these feelings are very old but the wound is so deep that I can't seem to put words to the feelings and process them. Instead, I end up in a sobbing melt down, overwhelmed by grief and fear and God-knows what else. When I finally get calm, I've dissociated it all away and don't want to unpack it.
Any one else ever felt this?