Posted by Annabelle Smith on February 6, 2011, at 20:35:07
In reply to Re: managing life while in therapy » Annabelle Smith, posted by lola_2 on February 6, 2011, at 20:04:10
Oh, I see. I think I totally hear what you are saying. I think about that a lot myself. You know, it seems to me that in a lot of the case studies I have read about therapy, as well as just observing what people say online and on boards such as this, I was under the impression that it is very common to meet more than once per week.
Do I think it would make therapy more efficient? I don't know. Part of me screams YES and part of me thinks maybe not. On the one hand, it seems that if there is so much to talk about and if the longing is so intense in between sessions so that it is all one can think about and feels like an eternity, then part of me thinks that more sessions would help at the beginning. I do not know what your situation is, but for me, that would be impossible. 1) My therapist is super-busy and added me on top of his already full schedule-- he was so kind to take me back. Hence, my sessions have been somewhat erratic. We don't have a set time each week, and sometimes it ends up being more than a week in between each meeting (like I met with him last Monday but am not meeting again until this upcoming Wed...9 days) 2) My therapist is super kind and understanding again and offers me a sliding-scale fee that I can afford that is half of his usual cost-- otherwise, it would really be a huge financial strain for me, as he doesn't take my insurance (though I may be getting reimbursement) Financially, I would have trouble paying for more than one session a week, and I wonder if my therapist is taking a hit and making a sacrifice by not charging me the full price too.
I know this sounds stupid, but sometimes I feel like because it seems like most people do go more than once per week, because I don't, then it seems like he is not seeing how much pain I am really in or that he doesn't believe I mean what I say about some things. But, I know that is probably not the case-- just my projection. As much as I feel jealous (sometimes intensely jealous of other people who can go more than once per week, it is not possible in my case. It may be possible in yours.
But then the second question is: even if it is possible, is it more efficient? I don't know. It probably depends on each individual case. I could see myself just going deeper and deeper in the addictive cycle in which I am already plunged. It may be that the more sessions I have, the more I am obsessed and drug deeper in. I think there may be something to say about having to leave each session and doing the "work" of dealing with life apart from therapy outside of session each week.
I don't know what kind of therapy you are in, but what I do know about DBT (which is more or less what I am in minus the weekly group skills session) is that it meets once per week for individual sessions. No more. And this is primarily for Borderline Personality Disorder (and increasingly other things too) which used to treat these same patients with 3 times/week individual therapy sessions. I think there has been a shift in theory and method around the number of therapy sessions offered per week, even with people in extreme distress and suffering.
You mention that you are having very mixed feelings about therapy right now. I think I hear you. I often feel the same way. It has been a year now since I started therapy (this includes the 6 months I was away during the summer...which still involved this unresolved longing) and I feel like I have largely wasted this year by being obsessed with my therapist and my sessions. I feel angry and extremely sad sometimes that I feel like I have lost this year of my life. You mentioned withdrawing-- yes, that happened to me too for the first 3 months and is still happening now. I feel in such inner turmoil and chaos that I don't want to be around others because I just feel more and more fake and awful. So I withdraw. And feel more awful. Sometimes I wonder if therapy hasn't given me a new problem-- of over-attachment and dependency and re-opening all of the old feelings and pain in a very concentrated way.
But, I think that maybe things have to get worse before they get better. At least I am telling myself this. I think that for both of us, as much as it hurts, we are ultimately on a path to new healing. I hope so. I think it just takes time. It actually may very well be a sign of the effectiveness of therapy if it initially produces such intense pain and feelings-- it is bringing up some really important stuff to deal with that would otherwise just lay hidden yet still there and causing pain.
Sorry I wrote a lot-- I have been thinking about this too, and it all just came out.
poster:Annabelle Smith
thread:978715
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110206/msgs/978794.html