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Re: NOT being a good mom

Posted by B2chica on November 11, 2010, at 9:43:22

In reply to Re: being a mom » B2Chica, posted by floatingbridge on November 8, 2010, at 14:05:44

ok, so i got SMASHED! before my t appt.
i dont even remember that much of my session except screaming at her, crying and literally on the floor begging her to kill me.
i didnt feel i was there long and i threw the bottle of vodka at her direction (and grabbed my crap and walked out).

UNfortunately i meet with her agin today.

***********
i think im mad because i know i need to end it with her.
i think she's done as much as she can.
or maybe she holds too many of my secrets.
i dont know.
but i think we need to end.

i know i have an alcohol problem when self-medicating. because i just want to be taken under. and this time around its WAY worse.
maybe my niece and i could go to some type of group together. she is a binge drinker and i think she may be self medicating for something herself. (her self-esteem). not having to face herself.

i'm sad that the war is within my own mind. that no one can reach in grab it and hold it and tell it, its going to make it.

i'm sad, so i need to get back to work.

thanks for your thoughts.
b2


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poster:B2chica thread:968232
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101023/msgs/969768.html