Posted by floatingbridge on November 11, 2010, at 12:06:20
In reply to Re: NOT being a good mom, posted by B2chica on November 11, 2010, at 9:43:22
B2!C,
Solstice has written some words of wisdom from the heart. I can only second them. Standing still and not running can be so difficult and yet what might be exactly what is needed, despite every single cell of someone's being instinctively wanting to run, hide, smash bottles, whatever.
It took me so long to begin to trust my T (not like I'm done). I notice that I would really resent him for not being able to help me-- that is, heal me, take away my pain. So I'd make all these plans to leave.
My sense of shame can become so intense. Awful, awful feeling. Unbearable. But my T can bear it. He does not see me as the shame. What he does see and acknowledge is the pain.
When I share my pain, then he can help me brainstorm was to address it. The shame shrinks, much like Solstice says.
If you talk to your T in ways similar to how you post, she must recognize your strength and honesty. At least I hope so. And if she's willing to see you after throwing a bottle, I imagine she recognizes your distress. What do you think?
Be brave Chica. Remember you are worthwhile, too, just as much as the best person you can think of. Only those with hearts can feel them break.
You are brave. Great big hugs!
C-PTSD currently set to twitch. MDD and comorbid health issues. Chronic fatigue and pain.
poster:floatingbridge
thread:968232
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101023/msgs/969779.html