Posted by wittgensteinz on September 26, 2010, at 4:56:41
In reply to I hate him, posted by Dinah on September 24, 2010, at 12:37:01
I'm sorry you are hurting.
Do you think his repeated promises (and failure to keep to his promises) regarding the work on emetophobia is in any way linked to your feelings of boredom and the idea of cutting back to once a week?
It seems that there are two distinct issues to process with him, and maybe the handling of the emetophobia (and his resistance to personally engaging you in treatment for this) needs to be worked through first before any question of cutting back? By promising and not keeping to these promises, he is prolonging the possibility of resolving this issue - it's a big problem for you and something that you want to work on but he, for whatever reason, is resistant. If together you can find out 'why' this is then maybe a solution is possible - either him directly helping you with it or you both coming to an understanding of why he cannot and what might be an alternative.
As for cutting back on sessions. I'm sure it has been something on and off your mind for a very long time in one way or the other - for example in reaction to how you are feeling about the therapy and perhaps to practical circumstances. But to what extent did you prepare for the last session with your therapist? It's such a huge thing to do (I think) - that surely there should be quite a process involved in first working through all the feelings that are likely to arise. From your posts, I get the impression that you went to the session, suggested reducing the sessions to once a week and he agreed - almost like you had to do it quick to force yourself into it?
I reduced the frequency of my sessions earlier this year. It wasn't something I really wanted to do but for practical reasons there was a conflict (not enough time in the week, essentially - I was finding myself becoming stressed sometimes because I'd have a session when really there wasn't enough time). The frequency now is 'good enough' (although I still miss the higher frequency) - but cutting back was a very difficult, conflict-ridden, process. It took a good half year before it was instigated and much going back and forth - and it took a further 3 or 4 months before I'd adjusted to the new frequency.
I suppose what I mean to say is that it's a very delicate process and likely to evoke strong emotions in you. I would take your time and process it before actually cutting back - this might be painful but probably very helpful in the long run.
You don't have to do it - and you're the one wanting to do it. If you hadn't brought it up, your therapist wouldn't have - he's responding to you (albeit his response triggered a lot of hurt). He's been there for you all these years and not pushed you out the door. I very, very much doubt he is indifferent toward you or sees you as a talking wallet. I'm not writing this because I think you have been unreasonable - whether something is reasonable or not is not so relevant - I guess I just want to react to your comments in an earlier post about your feeling that he doesn't care about you. I'd feel hurt/angry too if my therapist had promised to do something for me (repeatedly) and failed to do so - I think you need to tell him how that makes you feel. Can you re-schedule your 2 sessions for next week? Having no session next week will probably only intensify these feelings.
I hope you see him this coming week and talk this all through with him. I also hope he stops making empty promises or else gets down to reading the articles instead of his newspaper! - Or perhaps ask him to read it in session (or highlight the parts that are most important for him to read?).
Witti
poster:wittgensteinz
thread:963613
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100831/msgs/963812.html