Posted by obsidian on July 1, 2009, at 23:43:22
In reply to Re: analyst seems to not be working » obsidian, posted by deerock on July 1, 2009, at 21:39:49
> thanks sid. how did you get your smoking under control? or have you yet?
distraction, lack of availability, time, some combination of those things
I smoked for three days a couple of weeks ago then stopped again. Sometimes it has only been my lack of willingness to "use" friends as a connection that has kept me from getting it. Nice to know I've got some standards ;-). I just straight out took my friends little stash this last time.
but, back to the stopping thing:
I started running, it fills my time at the end of day when I'd otherwise smoke.
I had quite a bit of anxiety and agitation when I stopped, so the running helped with that.
Also, not that consequences necessarily stopped me, but I was losing time at work, going in late, missing days.
My T did this cool and detached thing, got me concerned that he would end therapy with me, I don't know if he was going to or not, but I felt responsible to work toward something in therapy, not sure what, but I felt the need to at least be "present".
> and yes, i am aware of how harmful it is and how ineffective therapy can be when i am in that little space. T calls it the velvet prison. its a good metaphor.
yeah, I like that place too much
> i dont know about the mother thing. but yes, i do need to disconnect with her, often.
> i am in a state where i am very apathetic and any emotion elicited, ie: are you smoking pot and are you disconnecting from me like i was your mother, i would say this is annoying, this feeling, i need to get high. it lowers your ability to tolerate any discomfort. especially when youre doing it daily.
tolerating discomfort...yeah, that's a key idea
I'm not always willing.