Posted by alexandra_k on June 14, 2009, at 1:40:27
In reply to Re: I fired my t » alexandra_k, posted by Dinah on June 14, 2009, at 0:09:50
he said that he deals with 'regular slots' (who gets them etc) but that his administrator needs leeway to book in 'extra' or 'once off' sessions or whatever and that he didn't realize how far in advance she had booked up that time.
i feel... foolish. i was really looking forward to seeing him, yeah. arms open waiting to be picked up. and he just turned away basically. or didn't even notice i was there. or something. whatever. for me... that is the most deeply humiliating most shameful thing in the world. to be there with arms open waiting and for that... the whole thing to have turned out to be some kind of cruel joke really. and that was what it was. i feel foolish for believing in him. for thinking he was there. i hate myself for needing my image of him to be what enabled me to keep going when i didn't even exist for him anymore. i feel... totally dropped. he dropped me. it hurts. and i don't know how many months ago that happened. maybe the whole time i was gone. and i didn't even notice. and it hurts.
he doesn't have time. other people are booked in. he doesn't have time for me. and there it is.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:900834
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090515/msgs/900908.html