Posted by antigua3 on June 2, 2009, at 20:47:58
Has anyone integrated their little children that have lived inside of them?
I ask because in a dream my little one, who suffered the abuse, died in a dream. She drowned in the ocean while my pdoc was on the deck of a ship.
I discussed this tonight with him and he said that it was integration, that the little girl had become a part of me now.
But I feel devastated. She may have been the one who was abused, but she was also the innocent, vibrant one who possessed all the hopes, creativity, dreams, love of life and joy. She had this, but it was hindered by the abuse and I thought if she could get past the issue, to "accept" it, then all of that would become part of me, too. I don't feel I possess these attributes on my own.
I feel like she's gone and all those wonderful things are gone with her.
Am I crazy? Have I been delusional my whole life? I feel such a tremendous loss and fear that my life isn't worth living without all the things she brought to me life.
antigua
poster:antigua3
thread:899140
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090515/msgs/899140.html