Posted by TherapyGirl on May 5, 2009, at 19:51:35
In reply to Re: Apparently my T's plan is... » TherapyGirl, posted by Dinah on May 5, 2009, at 19:16:49
> For you to leave her? What on earth was the context for that?
>
> Hmmm.....
>
> I *have* said to my therapist that the instant he tells me that he will be leaving me, that he already has left me and ceases to be my therapist immediately. So maybe I sorta understand that. She's trying to give you the power to leave her so that you'll be doing the abandoning instead of her?
>
> Well, it doesn't work if she suggests it. Sheesh.Yeah, something like that. She said something about doing it in an empowering and healthy way. Whatever. I cried for the first time tonight then and said, "You obviously do not understand anything I've been saying to you for months." She asked for clarification on that and I told her, "I don't think I have enough minutes before you're gone to figure out how to do this and you're suggesting that I leave early."
>
> I've talked to my therapist about your therapist retiring, and moving across state, and being in touch with you but not all that much. He asked me (with far too much genuine, if gentle, interest) what *would* be the right way to go about retirement in those circumstances. I told him there was no right way. He gave me that smile that he gives me when he's gotten me to say something that he could never say.
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> There is no *right* way for her to do this.
>
> But maybe she could be a bit more active in preparing a nest for you once she goes?
YES. This is what it doesn't feel like she's doing.>Giving you the names of people who won't come close to filling her shoes. Reminding you of things you've done in the past that have made feeling alone a bit better. Supporting your efforts to bring a canine friend into your life.
The stuff above she is doing but it just makes me crazy. It feels like an insincere, inaccurate cheer. But that's probably just me.
> And apologizing a heck of a lot for hurting you, and telling you how much it hurts her to hurt you, and how much she'll miss having you in her life. And really really acknowledging the pain it causes to have someone you rely on, someone who encouraged you to rely on her, leave you.The closest she's gotten to apologizing is saying, "I'm sorry this is so hard for you." NOT an apology. It really isn't.
Maybe I should fly you here so you can go to my sessions with me, Dinah. I have a feeling you could get the point across better than I've been able to.
poster:TherapyGirl
thread:894390
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090421/msgs/894399.html