Posted by twinleaf on February 24, 2009, at 18:30:24
In reply to What IS it with me?, posted by Dinah on February 23, 2009, at 8:52:54
For quite a few months, I have been having the same reaction that Happy did. When I compare my own experiences in therapy, it always appears to me that you have a lot more control in your therapy than I have ever had in mine. For example, if I called to leave an ambivalent message ("don't call me back, but..."), or if I asked for a certain statement at the end of the hour ("it will be O.K."), or said that certain topics were off-limits, such as sexual feelings or anger between the two of you, my therapist would not do any of the things I asked for. Instead, he would want to know why I said such a thing. He would expect me to express my thoughts and feelings as fully as possible to find out why I needed these things, why I needed to avoid things, etc., etc. Without exception, he feels that the feelings and experiences I least want to talk about are the ones it's most important that I do talk about.
I felt sad to learn that you did not have "object constancy" during his recent week-long absence. Missing him would have been so natural, but forgetting who he was to you did seem sad after so many years together. I guess, like Happy, I have been getting the impression recently that you, rather than the two of you, control the sessions, so that whatever you want to avoid will in fact be avoided. I would not want a relationship that was as comfortable as an old shoe- the ones that are unpredictable, anxious, angry, joyous. loving, hateful, peaceful- and then all of it all over again- the ones which are really hard work, and require the utmost from both participants- seem to be the ones that make me feel that I am really changing.
poster:twinleaf
thread:881864
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090214/msgs/882224.html