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Re: Sorry, I don't mean to be hurtful and blunt.

Posted by Dinah on February 24, 2009, at 9:36:10

In reply to Sorry, I don't mean to be hurtful and blunt., posted by HappyChaiTea on February 24, 2009, at 9:26:17

It wasn't hurtful to me.

My relationship with him is far too secure for that.

It may not come across in writing how it is in person, but in person he is as amused and fond of the closing procedure as I am. If you could see the fond amusement in his eyes, it would never occur to you that I'm exerting control, except in the sense of asking for what I feel I need, and his choosing to give it freely, because he knows that ritual is important to me.

It would like calling your child controlling if you had a ritual for putting him to bed or sending him off to school, and you forgot it one night and he reminded you.

And had it not been the end of session, he'd have laughed at my semi-psychicness and acknowledged that he'd been far too busy to miss me, but that now he's back he's glad to see me. Where I put him on the spot was asking if he'd missed me when I was reasonably sure I hadn't crossed his mind at all, and when I had already admitted that I hadn't missed him.

:)

I think it's hard to convey the tone of our sessions. It's grown to be very comfy like two old pairs of slippers with bulges where the toes go. I think he's as comfortable with the dadddy/daughter dynamics as I am.

But that doesn't mean I'm not a trial to him.

 

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poster:Dinah thread:881864
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090214/msgs/882147.html