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Re: i want to have an affair (**Trigger**)

Posted by B2chica on November 20, 2008, at 9:43:00

In reply to Re: i want to have an affair (**Trigger**) » B2chica, posted by Phillipa on November 19, 2008, at 19:08:24

phillipa no, i don't want to lie about something thats so important to me.
and he's close he says now he wants another child...it's just getting down to business that he doesn't seem to move forward on.
he mentioned something this morning about kids and i told him mostly how i was feeling, but we''ll have to continue that conversation tonight as i had to go.

maybe it was too much of a jump for him from going (wanting) to actually trying. and he needs some time to 'settle in'. as he does that. he just needs time with stuff.
he's not one for change.

and sassy, it did seem a little harsh but i know you and i don't think you meant it to hurt me.
but i've even wondered, geez how is he going to mess up our kids and will they end up in therapy over us? well, they probably will. but i'm in thearpy, and i feel i'm getting way better than i was three years ago. but stopping with one just because of him isn't fair to me when i've been trying SO hard to get over my own issues so that i can be a good mom and it's not fair to my DD, i feel she would be a Great big sister and she deserves a sibling if for no other reason, someone to turn to that isn't one of us. someone i will try to teach her will always be there for her.

**********************
the urge to turn to an alternative source for love and acceptance is still there but i'm applying it to my daughter. i can give her all the love i have to give, to hold her, to take care of her, to guide her. i didn't realize it was right under my nose.

now im pretty sure there will be other times i will have a similar desire "to stray". but i'm a thinker and usually over think things. so chances are high that it's not going to happen.

i appreciate all your support and kind words.
thanks'
b2c


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