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Re: A bit of a RAMBLE

Posted by muffled on November 5, 2008, at 22:46:51

In reply to Re: A bit of a RAMBLE » muffled, posted by Dinah on November 4, 2008, at 16:52:22

>"It's really hard to understand. I may be nice here on babble, and I may even be nice enough in social situations. But I'm *not* nice in therapy. I rely more on how they "feel" than how they look or what they say. But I also need someone who is just the right amount of pushy, someone with a large serving of tact (even if I can see through it), someone smart, someone with a bit of humor, someone willing to wait for me to be ready. And I'm not at all nice with therapists I don't like. I don't necessarily mean I'm confrontational, but I can be as intolerant as I used to be with teachers. I can definitely be challenging. I can be scornful."

*my T says she wants to know all of me, not just the nice parts. She one day said in response to something else, she say I bet you've got some choice names for me!(meaning NOT so nice!!!LOL!)
She know I got parts what REALLY not like her.
But she still work w/me. S'ok.
Mebbe you and your T need to do some good old CBT stuff bout some of your notions bout yourself. Many have a grain of truth which makes them very beleivable, but chances are they are somewhat distorted.
My oldT used to call me challenging(proly thot a whole lots worse stuff but wouldn't SAY it!!!LOL!!!)

>"I'm not saying there could never be anyone else. But I'd probably have to go through the entire phone book, and even then my chances wouldn't be great. I'm just not at all nice as a client."

*ummmm? where in the book of T does it say a client must be nice????I know some people who are VERY challenging for their T's, but thats what T is THERE for, to help the figger stuff, good or bad. I was mostly (sorta) nice to old T, I am not making much of an effort to be friendly to new T.
I think you might find a T that would do, and WITH TIME could be every bit as good as your T, dare I say, possibly even better, if not as much fun!

>"And the chances of finding someone with the qualifications I would need for my specific problem? We're talking minute teensy chance then."

Ummmm, you try finding a T w/experience in DD's...ugh, NOT so easy.

>"I do know that he can't help me with some of my stuff. I just don't quite know what to do about it."

*well, in my situation, I looked for another T. I was lucky with my second try. She not all that I would want, but I think with time we can adapt to one another. I really had gone as far as I could go w/oldT, as far as she was willing to go. She was still a strong support to me, but I needed to move ahead and she couldn't do that for me. We tried. We bith did, but I just got tired of the frustration and finally moved on.
I cannot tell you what the answers are Dinah.
Just that it sure wasn't easy for me, but I think I made the right decision.
Take care,
Muffled

 

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