Posted by Dinah on November 9, 2008, at 20:11:06
In reply to Re: A bit of a RAMBLE » Dinah, posted by DAisym on November 9, 2008, at 19:16:47
I suspect it's a mixture. He was really gung ho about looking into the desensitization there for a session or two. He saw the phobia as the key to so much in my history, and he's right. I suspect he thought if he could solve one, he could solve all, and I don't think he was right about that.
But, and I mean this in the most loving way possible, the phlegmatic nature that I so need in some ways carries the negative side effect of leading him to laziness sometimes.
I also know he really doesn't like to challenge me. He says I bite.
Perhaps most importantly, I talked to him about my fears that I'd associate him with vomit, and that doing desensitization with him might interfere with his remaining a safe base. I think he didn't like *that* at all. I asked him if he'd be angry if I started doing it, and then quit desensitization. He said no, but he would be angry if I started doing it then told him it ruined our therapeutic relationship and I couldn't see him anymore.
I think that reluctance, coupled with his phlegmatic disposition and his real life preoccupations led him to first "forget" the topic, and now really be actively against it.
And... Hmmmmm....
Not sure if I should admit this, but I think he likes our relationship as it is and is as reluctant to endanger it as I am. I mean, what's not to like? I adore him and let him know it. I don't bother him overmuch between sessions. I'm a stable source of positive regard for him as much as he is for me, and I pay him to boot! Aside from my demanding a lot from him in session, well.... what's not to like?
So yeah, I think we both collude in not running any risk of messing things up. And yes, I do tell him I think that. :) But I put it so nicely he probably thinks it's a compliment. And it kind of is.
poster:Dinah
thread:860712
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081104/msgs/861906.html