Posted by muffled on November 4, 2008, at 13:49:23
In reply to Re: A bit disappointed » muffled, posted by Dinah on November 4, 2008, at 13:25:02
> I know you're right. I'm often frustrated with his contentment with the status quo. I'm frustrated that he has no desire to expand his knowledge base to help me any. I'm frustrated with his limitations as a therapist. He doesn't seem to feel there is any pressing reason for me to improve in any way.
:-(
> Maybe that's part of why I go to adjunct therapists at time. I can't see a second therapist without a reason, because he wouldn't accept my having two therapists. But he is ok with my having an adjunct therapist.
maybe you could phrase it as you are getting to know another T as back up, as you have discussed with your T before, it would be nice if you knew there was someone else out there...
Having two T's I could see being a prob as well, if it was ongoing, my T does not allow it either.
What adjuncts have you tried?
How many?
How long?
It may be that your are a very discriminating T consumer, and thats a good thing cuz there ARE bad T's out there, but sometimes it takes a bit of time to find one that 'fits'. Mebbe years. But might as well go 'shopping' and browse around and see whats out there.
Maybe make lists of what you ARE looking for, and lists of what are detrimental points.
Maybe write down what it is you wish to change/accomplish in T. Obvo, you like a stable relationship, but what else?
> The problem is that I'm just not a nice person. I don't like any of the adjunct therapists. At all. I've seen a number of them, and while I didn't dislike them all equally, I did dislike them all.Oh lord Dinah, you ARE a nice person HERE! So apparently it is within you to BE a nice person! LOL and FWIW I still am not overly fond of my new T, but we are doing good work. So mebbe 'like' is not necc a prerequisite, maybe you can come to respect them rather than like?
Its just nice to get some 'work' done in T and move ahead. For me it is anyways.
> If I found one I liked, I might possibly be willing to see my therapist once a week and the adjunct therapist once a week. But I doubt I'll like any of them.'But you doubt you'll like any of them'. Manoman you just GOTTA know thats gonna bring out the momma in me bout negative PRECONCIEVED notions!!!! I think...therefore it IS....Hmmmm.
When I was having trouble with my oldT, I had NO conception of ever working with a diff T. Like NO WAY. It took too long to come to an understanding with her. Too long for her to get to REALLY know me some. Sides I liked seeing her, and she made me feel good.
But over time my ongoing frustration won out and now I have a new T. NOT to say old one was bad, she was very good, but the work we could do together was done, it was time to move on. It wasn't easy, but I did it and I am glad.
> Apart from all else, my therapist is special if only in the fact that I can tolerate being with him for longer than a session or two.You can tolerate him, then you CAN tolerate another, you just need to get yourself out of the negative hopeless mindset you've fallen into.
Anyways, if you are content with the status quo, fine.
If not.......time to go 'shopping' around.
Just my thots.
I do not mean to be bossy or rude.
I may well be way off base.
Just food for thot.
I love it when people give me food for thot.
Something to chew on and digest.
Take care,
Muffled
poster:muffled
thread:860712
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081104/msgs/860774.html