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Re: Is this an example of a dual relationship?

Posted by JayMac on November 1, 2008, at 15:31:49

In reply to Re: Is this an example of a dual relationship? » JayMac, posted by Nadezda on November 1, 2008, at 9:10:21

Nadezda:
>I don't think it's become at dual relationship

Yeah, I agree.

>Perhaps what you're questioning is whether you're using this interest to mask other, perhaps less positive emotions, or to avoid having to confront your feelings.

Wow, I haven't thought about that!!!

>Sometimes idealization covers up competitiveness or even more negative feelings-- or is a way of trying to construct a special relationship, either as a way of creating trust, or of avoiding the sense of lack of trust.

I think you are on to someting. I do think the idealization could be covering up my angry towards her (anger towards my mom).

>If she's gotten out of kilter with you, I feel confident that she'll know how to right the relationship and steer it back to more solid ground. The two of u ou'll handle this, though-- especially because, you seem very self=aware and committed to the process-- and are already aware of this potential pitfall. It's not bad in itself-- but is a matter of degree and context.

Totally, a matter of degree/context. I do ultimately trust her. I'm just having a tough time right now. I feel like I'm on a pivotal place with her.

> I'm not sure why you suddenly wanted to tear your T down.

I have no idea. I told her in an email. Not sure where it came from, just an internal, sudden feeling I had this Thursday.

>I hope you're feeling better.

Thank you! Thanks for your insight!


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