Posted by sassyfrancesca on October 29, 2008, at 12:24:41
In reply to Re: Very Painful- T Told me Not to E-mail Him Anymore » sassyfrancesca, posted by lucie lu on October 29, 2008, at 11:30:23
> didn't want me to anymore, because "others read his e-mail." I asked who "others" were....he said...his wife, because she does the bills online, and he has "no secrets."
> Oh, Sassy, I am so sorry that you have to go through this, and I second raisin's post.
But one thing particularly stands out for me - among this man's other boundary issues - is that he thinks it's reasonable that "others read his e-mail" (!) And "no secrets"??!! What ever happened to confidentiality?????!!!!!
I never thought about it that but you are right! Although I know he has an e-mail, that is just for clinical stuff.....so maybe this is his personal e-mail, but still....I sure wouldn't want anyone reading my mail.
t No matter what the relationship may have ended up being, *you are still his client*. And like any other professional, be it doctor, pastor, lawyer, etc., he is ethically, morally and professionally bound to confidentiality.
Oh, is very big on confidentiality; won't even say hello to me if he sees me (In Hawaii at the convention, he saw me 5 times and didn't speak)
BUT...he spent time looking for me at the dance, and would have danced with me??? I guess it would have been okay, as long as he didn't speak? Is that weird or what!!??
The professional obligation is absolute and there is no "except for my wife" or "except for office staff" etc. Puh-leeze! It is interesting that he apparently feels that having already breached boundaries with you lets him off the hook for any and all professional obligations towards you. I'm sorry to say this, Sassy, but IMO this man takes advantage of your abuse history and vulnerability. Maybe some of what he has done with you in the past has been part of a well-intended but extremely misguided attempt to help you and care for you but if so I think he has bungled
Wow, "bungled" what a perfect description!
it beyond belief. And what about the obligation to "do no harm?" How can he possibly see this latest action in the context of doing you, his client, no harm??
I wrote him a metaphorical message (giving it to him next week): in that I am "wearing" a thin sweater and occasionally I get a brief respite, and he ripped it right off of me.
First he takes away my hug (we have been back and forth over the years with that one, and then changes me day, which isn't convenient, and now the e-mail thing.....
> I'm really sorry to say this because I know how much he means to you and how much you are hurting. I hope that somehow, someday, you will be in a secure enough place emotionally that you can report this guy - he has no sense of professional ethics whatsoever and should not be practicing anything with anyone.
> Even now, I feel like I'm letting you down
You are not letting me down, I value your opinion and love you for stating the truth as you see it.
because I am so infuriated (thankyou!)
with this man and I'm venting that, when you need to vent your own feelings and get support from us.
The support is great!
I guess it just makes me so angry to see that you would accept that you are not even worthy of email confidentiality, perhaps the most basic of rights we as clients are entitled to from the people who are charged with our care.
You know (like I said) I never thought of it like that at the time, but YES!!
I don't care how much you "don;t have any secrets" or are trusting; why would you want people reading your mail? I wonder if wifey-poo opens his snail mail; sheesh...
> Love, Lucie
((((Lucie))))) Thank you sweetie! It is JUST what I needed to hear; now I have to wait a whole week to let him "have" it.
Oh, wait...why don't I just E-MAIL him, LOL.LOL!!