Posted by Wittgensteinz on October 30, 2008, at 4:49:14
In reply to Very Painful- T Told me Not to E-mail Him Anymore, posted by sassyfrancesca on October 29, 2008, at 8:27:53
I think it has all been said but I want to reiterate your right (legal and ethical right) to confidentiality. It's not about your T being totally 'transparent' with his wife (and you know that is a laughable matter in any case) - his clients certainly shouldn't be totally transparent to his wife! You and him have a contract of confidentiality - he is legally and ethically obliged to keep what is said between you and him (and what is exchanged between you and him via phone/e-mail) exactly that - between you and him alone. You have the right to talk to whoever you wish, that's your right as a patient/client.
The other matter of bringing his wife into this - it seems inappropriate and perhaps with some motive on his part. Is he trying to set you up against his wife? She is the gate-keeper stopping you from 'coming in' - stopping you sending e-mails - she is your T's nosy parent, interfering in your business...?
I don't understand his reasoning - it seems he's pushing you away, likely because of his own problems dealing with his loving feelings for you. It's such a pity you are the one who has to suffer because of his incapabilities.
I would ask, if you can, about where your confidentiality stands in all of this. Are your sessions with him confidential and why has he compromised your privacy in this way. Also perhaps ask him why he felt the need to bring his wife into the room in this way. I think this is a cover story and a bad one at that - there's a lot more going on here it seems. I'm really sorry you have had this door closed on you - it's another form of support taken away and it was unfair of him to have done this without giving you the real reason.
Take care Sassy - this must be hard.