Posted by JayJ on October 14, 2008, at 6:46:33
In reply to Re: So scared » JayJ, posted by Dinah on October 13, 2008, at 20:18:55
Thanks for being so willing to share. I admire that a lot. There really does seem to be a lot about your brother on your mind in relation to the problem. Are you sure the "dream" really preceded him. I have similar things about early childhood, where I am pretty sure the "memory" images I have in my head were created by picking up fragmented bits of information about that really early period but much later, when I was in the 8-9 year range. They certainly look like real memories, but I'm almost certain they're not because of some factual details.The symbolism in your dream is certainly consistent with the sense of contamination you talk about and not knowing when or if you are going to be able to get over it. I probably shouldn't keep pushing in this way, but how do you feel about your brother now, and how did you feel about him then? Perhaps importantly if you can get to it, how does the "now" you feel about the "then" him and the "then" you. He certainly seems to loom large in the whole issue. Of course, as you say, sometimes knowing this stuff doesn't get you past it. I just can't help wondering if you have missed or buried some incident back there. Do your "incantations" ever work to overcome it, and does such a mystical or magical approach to heal your psyche mean something in this whole area?
Sorry, I shouldn't keep harping on this, I guess it sounds like such fertile ground to me, but you have probably been over it and over it.
I really wish I could help, but at least you certainly have all of my best wishes and sympathy.
JayJ
poster:JayJ
thread:857131
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081005/msgs/857361.html