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For Antigua and FMD - autumn mood issues

Posted by lucie lu on October 12, 2008, at 13:12:53

In reply to Re: I'm feeling so down these days, posted by antigua3 on October 12, 2008, at 11:34:01

Thank you both for your sweet posts. I hope you don't mind my replying to you together but you both, directly or indirectly, raised the issue of timing, time of year, time of life. For as long as I can remember, fall has always been difficult for me mood-wise. November has always been the worst for me. I have searched and searched for something, some event that happened in the fall, some anniversary, and never found one. The only thing I'm aware of is what you mention, FMD, a sense that the world is dying as the year gets old. (Maybe it is my pagan ancestry.) I think it may just be the seasons resonating with a profound sense of loss and melancholy that I don't think therapy will ever get rid of, only help me to manage. I have had years ago hypomanic episodes in November, which in retrospect seemed like desperate efforts to forestall the inevitable, followed by a resounding crash in December. Perhaps the autumnal mood descent is all the more difficult for me because the season is so beautiful (I live in the Northeast) and seems so gay and playful, while my mood is going south and can't enjoy it. Then I perk up in the spring. I am also a lover of daylight, so Daisy's reminder to get some daily sun was a good suggestion. I recognize that what I'm describing is a pretty classic case of SAD, it's just that the mood meds have done a good job in recent years of keeping the SAD at bay. So no, I haven't tried lights yet but still might. I wonder if b2chica ever bought herself one, I should ask her.

As I write about these old feelings, I am also starting to wonder if these more recent feelings of sadness and impending loss have to do with current family issues - difficulties with my DH, the kids growing up, regrets. Or is it my mood that is bringing those things to my attention?

I think that this bout of FM has significantly stronger emotional overtones that previous flares have had, which may be why it has been so painful and hard to control. So I do think it is worth looking for the emotional roots, as long as it doesn't, short-term, make me feel more depressed. Even though we know it is better to express feelings in words, I think sometimes the body expresses what we just aren't able to verbalize yet. There was an earlier thread about this a month or two ago (onceupon? seldom? sorry for not remembering exactly who it was, but I do remember the discussion).

Antigua, thanks for mentioning Lyrica. It is the one FM med I have not tried, and just the other day I heard it worked well for the FM of a friend of a friend. Worth a try.

Again, thanks so much for your helpful thoughts and conforting words.

Lucie


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poster:lucie lu thread:856911
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081005/msgs/857065.html