Posted by Wittgensteinz on September 17, 2008, at 17:03:35
In reply to Re: T Touching Himself » Wittgensteinz, posted by sassyfrancesca on September 17, 2008, at 10:23:41
Sassy,
The violations of professionalism are clear - goes without saying.
I feel very sorry and sad for you. This is a man you love and *trust*? Perhaps you are dependent on him in some ways. At the very least you are clearly strongly attached. Yet he is exploiting (abusing?) you, degrading you - what a horrible, selfish thing to do - what a terrible situation to be in. I think you are in a very vulnerable position and I really hope things don't decline further. How can you keep things safe? How can he keep things safe? What obligations does he feel he has to you and your care/treatment?
I get the feeling if it weren't for your self-control, things would already have descended into a clearly unethical relationship between you and him (not to say that there haven't already been violations on his part). Surely this is a huge burden on you, given the way you feel toward him. At the same time, perhaps the excitement of this married man clearly being turned on/aroused by you is hard to bring to a close - perhaps in a way there is some masochism at play - self-punishment on your part??
I certainly feel an ambiguity regarding my T and what I rationally know is for my own good and what emotionally I sometimes wish for. It shouldn't be for the patient to decipher between these two things, while the T can do what he whims.
It should be the role of the therapist to practice self-control/self-containment, not that of the patient.
Your T threw you onto the couch 7/8 times??? And the other things you mention are creepy and slimy. Are you at all scared when you are there with him? Is there a risk that he would physically hurt you or force himself onto you? Please don't put yourself at that risk.
I'm so sorry he is doing this to you - this isn't how you should be treated - you know this of course.
I hope you can at least start to talk about this with him and that things remain safe and under control.
((((SassyFrancesca)))))
poster:Wittgensteinz
thread:852422
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080906/msgs/852511.html