Posted by sassyfrancesca on September 18, 2008, at 12:11:13
In reply to Re: T Touching Himself » sassyfrancesca, posted by Dinah on September 18, 2008, at 10:49:31
> Sassy, to change the topic a bit...
>
> You've said several times in this thread that if you found a man to date, you'd be willing to leave your therapist. That you wouldn't put up with his behavior if there was someone else in your life.Yes, that is true.
>
> Sassy, there doesn't have to be a man in your life. I know.It's ok to refuse to put up with a bad relationship, even if you don't have a fallback position. Absolutely.
>
> I had a friend who had that viewpoint for part of her life. She was in a bad marriage, yet the only time she left, it was because she was sure she wouldn't be alone when she left.It was the scariest thing I ever did to leave a 32-year (abusive marriage).
The really nice part of her story is that she eventually discovered that she was enough on her own.
I know that I am.
That she didn't need a man in her life at any cost. She left her husband. They maintained a loving relationship, but she refused to put up with poor treatment from anyone.
>
> From what you've shared of your life, I can see that feeling alone would be scary. But not feeling alone doesn't necessarily involve a man. Strong female friendships, being part of a group, all those things can lead to plenty of companionship in your life.I do have wonderful female friends, but no one I can spend any time with, other than at work.
>
> I understand the desire for the sort of relationship you can only have with a man. But your therapist has been pretty clear that he isn't going to have that kind of relationship with you anyway. He's not going to leave his wife or endanger his career. All you'll ever have with him, as a relationship with a man, is a shadow of the real thing. Don't settle for less, when you can have more.
>
> I was wondering about your comment about bumping into people. Could you say more about that?Occasionally (I am a big tease)...I will lightly bump somone on the shoulder and say, "oh, excuse me"!
Do you lean against them? No
What does bumping look like? I ask because you once told me that your therapist's wrestling (on at least one occasion) was in response to your bumping him. Was his throwing you on the couch in response to your bumping? Do you initiate touch or does he? It's gone both ways.
You say you do this with everyone. How do other people respond? Do they respond physically? They just laugh.
>
> I'm not minimizing in any way his behavior or his responsibility. It is *always* a therapist's responsibility to behave in an ethical manner. I'm just trying to get an accurate picture in my mind.
>
> Hope that cleared it up, LOL...Yes a t is responsible for how therapy goes, etc.....Hugs n Love, Sassy
poster:sassyfrancesca
thread:852422
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080906/msgs/852651.html