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Re: Losing control - trigger » Dinah

Posted by Daisym on August 15, 2008, at 0:08:22

In reply to Re: Losing control - trigger, posted by Dinah on August 14, 2008, at 0:45:12

Missed you and still forgetting that darn button half the time.

I think you are absolutely right. I confessed to toddler behavior today - melting down with the person who is safest to do so. And he noted that I *am* mad at him - at least in some ways - for the separation. Part of me understands and part of me doesn't care to understand. (stomp, stomp) He said he was fine with toddler behavior as long as I didn't break things. :)

We did have a very intense conversation about self-sufficiency and loneliness. Realizing how alone I was then, and how awful it was, makes me feel really alone now. And that is a very painful place to be. He talked about abandonment depression and also about fundamental psychic shifts - facing the lonely feelings and figuring out how to reenter the community in a more real and vulnerable way. I can't just leave the stories in his office anymore - I have to own them and yet go be in the world - as a person with all this crap in her history, not as a person who keeps the secret. It sounds way too hard.

 

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poster:Daisym thread:846083
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