Posted by llurpsienoodle on August 15, 2008, at 13:28:22
In reply to Re: Losing control - trigger, posted by Daisym on August 14, 2008, at 23:26:09
> Actually, unfortunately, you are there. :(
>
> We talked about being a control freak today - how I work so hard to make everything work for everyone else but then passively let things go for myself - I almost never say no or cancel on a friend and yet when my friends do that to me, it is fine - I totally understand and am fine with it. Weird combination to have.
>
> I'm trying hard to believe that being "real" won't backfire.My T often reminds me that I *am* real. Even if I feel like I'm acting- that's a very real part of me. I can't act like an olympic swimmer, because I'm not. But, I can act like a competent person, because (at least a part of me?) is. Or so he says.
Maybe being "real" is this illusion that our thoughts, emotions and expressions will all be in sync, and in tune with our perceptions of the world. To attain this sense of "flow" and well-being. To me, however, being "real" makes my self-esteem dangerously vulnerable. Maybe it's just a state of mind. Being vulnerable vs. allowing insults no influence. Vulnerable Daisym as no more "real" than the unflappable Daisym?
Ah... and how to integrate.
I'm gonna go make some carrot juice now. Want some?
-Ll
poster:llurpsienoodle
thread:846083
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080810/msgs/846410.html