Posted by Dinah on May 6, 2008, at 21:12:26
In reply to Mooning over my therapist..., posted by backseatdriver on May 6, 2008, at 19:44:29
I never wanted my therapist romantically, but in the earlier days when I was deep in maternal transference with him, I used to indulge the fantasies. Except that I'd carry them out to their realistic and not very pleasant actual outcomes. So that if my therapist were my mother, he'd yell at me about cleaning the house. Or nag me about how I dressed. Or cook broccoli every night. I'd get really really specific. Usually I'd make myself laugh, as I realized he was way better in fantasy than he'd be in reality.
Following through on a romantic fantasy might mean imagining the realistic consequences of such a romance, or even the embarassing and less than romantic aspects of the physical side of the fantasies. Some of the most revolting things you ever remember anyone ever doing, realize that your therapist does those things too. All the stupid insensitive things other people do, so does your therapist.
And I always imagine therapists get pretty worn out of being sensitive all day, and certainly don't bring their work home with them.
Did you ever see the Friends where Rachel is flirting with the obstetrician? And he asks what she does, and when she responds she's a waitress at a coffee place, he asks her if she ever comes home thinking she can't stand looking at another cup of coffee? I always figure therapists come home thinking they can't listen to one more person, and can't be accepting and sensitive to a single additional person.
poster:Dinah
thread:827599
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080423/msgs/827639.html