Posted by B2chica on March 31, 2008, at 9:42:59
In reply to the hardest part...**possible Trigger**, posted by B2chica on March 28, 2008, at 12:30:22
i guess i was just so afraid of being "red flagged as a potential abuser" by whomever i asked for help. that if i was to ask someone how to properly bathe my little girl. i was scared to DEATH. that someone will want to take her away from me. that it's stopped me from asking this before...it was building inside for quite a while.
i don't really have a fear that i am abusing my daughter or will. although like Muffled said sometimes when i looke at her beautiful body i wonder am i admiring her or am i "looking", i question...but that's also because my 'mother' did body checks on me when i was little and T says this was an invasion of my privacy and was wrong so i worry that i might do that.
but i've talked to T and she thinks because i am SO conscicous about it, im good. i'm ok. and i have no intentions. i just love her and her beauty. she's so perfect, so just right as GOD made her. and i want to protect her SO much.
my 'mother' used to scrub me raw all over but especially in privates, so i didn't know how to clean my IRL little one.
i had to ask T how to clean her.
T was SO GOOD. and asked me what i did now and then told me what to do, and that i was doing ok now. and that even if i just let her sit in the tub and didn't wash her down there she would still be ok as long as i cleaned her during diaper changes. this made me feel SOOO much better.
i was worried about cleaning her too strong AND also not enough cuz i sometimes barely wash her privates cuz i'm worried of hurting her.
and T said about 2 years or so they can clean themselves (depending on child) when they start to clean other parts of body by themselves.
and as someone else told me, they kinda let you know about the privacy part (around 5-7ish) that they want privacy.
and age 2-3 is cut off age for sharing baths.
ALL this is what T told me (incase anyone out there also wants to know and doens't want to ask).
and all of this went against what i learned from my own experience.
but i feel a weight has lifted now that i have asked and i feel more empowered.
and feel a little more in control.