Posted by Daisym on March 28, 2008, at 21:18:42
In reply to Re: the hardest part....., posted by fleeting flutterby on March 28, 2008, at 15:21:18
You know I work with little kids and their parents - and lots and lots of parents know nothing about taking care of infants. When I was a young mother I had no idea how to put diaper rash ointment on a boy - I'd babysat for little girls and taken care of a little sister - but not boys. So these are not things to be embarrassed about. I'm so glad you have someone safe to ask.
And I know that fear - "If I was abused, does that mean I have the potential to abuse?" The truth is all parents have the potential and those who were hurt as children have an increased potential. But you are in therapy, you are aware of the cycles and you clearly want to do right by your little one. These are important conversations. I've had them with my therapist too - worry and wondering about messing up my kids. And I'm very distressed to admit that on occasion my own sons have triggered me - imagine being scared of your own children! But when you are working through these very hard memories and you feel young and fragile, these things happen. I was glad to find that my therapist welcomed the questions, took them seriously, ask a lot of questions that were clearly intended to protect my kids as well as me, and did it in a way that wasn't insulting or scary.
It takes a while to get all these things out in the open and you just have to take it slow. Remember that dissociating served you well once so it is natural that it will show back up during stressful times.
I hope you can find time to nurture yourself this weekend.