Posted by seldomseen on February 22, 2008, at 8:15:13
In reply to Ugh, and therapy was not good today, posted by Racer on February 22, 2008, at 0:04:38
You know, I've run into the same thing when dealing with my accident with Andrew - the treatment was just as traumatic as the injury.
I find myself dealing with both issues (the treatment trauma and the injury sequelae) at the same time and it's just not fair. It's just not fair at all.
For instance, I found the rigid cervical collar to be very triggering and kept begging to take it off, but they told me I couldn't until the results from my CT scan came back and to quit complaining that it wasn't that bad. After waiting 5 hours for the CT results that still hadn't been read, I finally took it off myself. Then the director of the ED came over and lectured me about something to do with "against medical advice"... It was like torture to me - as was being strapped down in the ambulance. Anyway... Trauma sucks. I hear you.
Because of my training in the sciences, I like to keep in mind that a strong reaction to trauma is likely a very strong, and very old evolutionary survival mechanism. Those who mount a strong and lasting response are much more likely to avoid that trauma in the future and are much more likely to survive. We may misapply it in the here and now, but I do think it is something that we are programmed to do.
Also, if your negative self talk is anything like mine, then you start negative self-talking about negative self talking. Something along the lines of "why are you so stupid that you just can't quit doing this". Sigh.
I suspect that the voice that we hear is not ours, but a vestigal voice that doesn't belong to us any longer. This shame does not belong to us. We are whole.
I've actually got some more to say, but I've got to run right now.
More later.
Peace to you
seldom.
poster:seldomseen
thread:813959
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080210/msgs/814066.html