Posted by raisinb on January 19, 2008, at 12:52:34
In reply to Re: thoughts on this? » raisinb, posted by MissK on January 19, 2008, at 12:21:46
<<It occured to me - all this talk about opening up, maybe it can be equally therapeutic sometimes to not share one single, d*mn thought with the therapist.
Interesting.>>
That's how it feels--like I am finally learning to set some boundaries and it feels good. My T and I have been working this whole time with the assumption that the goal is for me to learn to trust her, and subsequently to learn to trust other people.
She said to me the other day that she didn't know if I was ever going to be able to trust her again, or if that was even my goal. I realized then that *I* didn't know if it was still my goal either! Maybe all this time, what I needed to learn was to trust *myself,* instead of worrying about how much I trusted her, and to set limits. Or maybe the two aren't mutually exclusive? Maybe they go together somehow? If I feel more secure and accepting of myself, less needy of her approval, I am less devastated by her judgments? I don't know.
She is definitely not on board with this new approach of mine, which is why I thought I'd get others' thoughts. Although we aren't technically fighting, it's a pretty serious difference about where we are going and what's good for me.
I wish I didn't feel like she's sitting there with a big spear, and as soon as I uncover my sensitive parts, she's gonna stab me with it.
poster:raisinb
thread:807581
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080114/msgs/807648.html