Posted by twinleaf on October 27, 2007, at 1:01:39
In reply to Re: therapy tomorrow; will take the risk head-on, posted by RealMe on October 27, 2007, at 0:30:11
From your summary of the session, I think it went REALLY well. You and he talked about some of the hardest things, and it seems like it wasn't too scary- and that you also got a lot of support and encouragement to continue along the path you've set out on. I'm so sorry about the lingering short-term memory and word-finding problems; I do hope they disappear gradually.
I went in with the same goal as you, but my hour was completely different! We spent a lot of time- about half- talking about what it was like to look at one another (as compared to my looking away). We just explored all the moment-by-moment aspects of it- did it seem too aggressive to look, or too intimate. Was I afraid that I might see in his face that he didn't like me, or, more frightening, would I see that he did? Did I know what he looked like when I wasn't looking at him? (not very clearly). I haven't seen too many, if any, people writing here about something like this, but I can say that for me it was extremely valuable. It seemed like I've been wanting to find out these basic things my whole life- and now I have a chance to at least explore the questions. He never actually answers anything- but he doesn't need to, really. There aren't any anwers that can be given in words.
We seem to do something along these lines for the first half of every session. Then there comes a moment when I feel really safe with him- that he's really with me. Then, I go right away to the abuse, and find I'm really able to talk about it and feel and know what it was like.
poster:twinleaf
thread:791461
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071022/msgs/791686.html