Posted by Maria01 on July 4, 2007, at 18:11:52 [reposted on July 4, 2007, at 19:00:50 | original URL]
Hello. New here.
I had been working with an intern for almost two years. Over the past three months, I had experienced a series of losses that shifted the focus of our work from historical stuff to more of the "here and now" There were times I was so depressed about these losses that I'm sure I was hard to work with. I felt this therapist and I had a really good rapport, despite the usual ups and downs of this type of work. I had told her on many occasisions that I am still on this planet because of her and her support. We worked from the psychodynamic/object relations framework and thought that our rapport could withstand difficulties like this. Was I ever wrong!
T
hings got ugly two months ago, and she had made a comment that struck me as cruel and inappropriate toward the end of our second-to-last session. I called her supervisor(the paperwork for this particular agency said we had that option) and ran the comment by her. She suggested that I talk with the therapist. I voicemailed my therpist.She returned the call the next day: I tried to explain to her that I wanted to stick things out, and she said we would discuss it in session before nearly hanging up on me. She sounded so angry!I came in for my usual hour; we chatted lightly for about 20 minutes. She then told me she was terminating the relationship, effective that day. No prior warning or discussion at all. I guess she and her supervisor had spoken at length, and decided that was "best" for me.
I had no chance to "process" it, very little chance to tell her how I felt. I left with a formal letter of termination. I asked if she knew anything about the agencies she referred me to, and she said,"that's your job". I had gotten laid off, so cost was an issue, but she still should have had come background on the agencies she was referring me to....there are a lot of agencies here in Northern CA(Bay Area region)!
Is this normal to terminate someone so suddenly like that with no prior warning or discussion? I did or said nothing to threaten the therapist, in fact, I have had upmost respect for her and would never have said or done anything to insult her or to make her feel unsafe. I feel like I was tossed out, something to be gotten rid of. All I did was call her supevisor once and ask if the therapist's comment to me was appropriate( the therapist had said to me, "Sometimes I can't stand working with you! There are days when I dread seeing you"). Mind you, I worked at a much slower pace due to trust issues in general. I did the best I could each week with what I had. I can only work at my own pace. I really feel like her comment and subsequent sudden termination were just....shady.
I'm devastated. Is sudden termination normal? I feel defective somehow for being terminated so suddenly and without warning. The supervisor had signed the letter as well, so she agreed to it. I'm not a crazy person. I don't know what to think. Has anyone else gone thru this? How do you cope with it? There is so much I want to say to her and never got the chance to. After two years of working with someone, all I am left with is what boils down to a form letter, and tons of unspoken words for this therapist. I barely had the chance to let her know how much she meant to me. I feel like a freak for having gotten "fired" from therapy so suddenly. I live in Northern Ca, if that makes any difference. I don't know if termination differs from state-to-state or what.
For the record, the therapist's demeanor had changed so much over the past two months. She went from being very kind and patient to being very abrasive and snappy. Even if there were something in her life that affected her ability to continue working with me, one would think she would have respected my dignity and our time together enough to allow for a more dignified termination instead of tossing me aside like an old shirt.
Opinions? thoughts? Any other "sudden termination" survivors out there?
Thanks
poster:Maria01
thread:767675
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070628/msgs/767675.html