Posted by DAisym on June 26, 2007, at 18:29:59
In reply to Re: But I'm OK now... » DAisym, posted by sunnydays on June 25, 2007, at 21:05:31
>>>>>Today he asked me, "Do you trust me?" I said, "Yes," and he asked why I trust him, what about him is trustworthy. I said because he's always there and because he's always the same. He was saying that his being trustworthy is really all about me - my being able to tell that he is trustworthy and then deciding to trust.
<<<<I think the trust part ebbs and flows. For me it is that I can't control him - or the fates -- so I have a hard time just giving myself over to it. I guess we all do.
>>>>>I trust him, but it's still scary. And I get that scary feeling so much. I've been hiding behind a pillow a lot lately, and I've never done that before. And I was so scared of him going on vacation, although tonight I'm sort of ok with it. I have an imaginary place I've put him in. And he gave me lots to work on.<<<<<<<< (grin) I've hidden behind the pillow(s) for a long time now. Last week I told him I was just going to make a fort with them all. I agree, it *is* really scary when we feel ourselves trusting a little, and then a little more. It isn't that we don't WANT to trust, it is just really scary. I'm glad that you are feeling OK about the break - he will come back. You can trust that.
>>>>Sorry, this got to be all about me. But I understand how hard it is. Keep working. My T keeps stopping me whenever something is hard to say and we talk about why it was hard to say it, and that has been helping so much.
<<<<<<It's OK - I'm glad you are sharing your experience with me. I really, really, really want to read about other people's experience of learning to trust and to need. What helped? What didn't? I think stopping when it gets really hard is important, because it isn't just the feelings that stop us, usually it is our fear of their judgement, even if we would protest that we know it will be OK.
poster:DAisym
thread:765069
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070612/msgs/765994.html