Posted by Daisym on April 25, 2007, at 2:01:31
In reply to calling a T... and other ramblings, posted by gazo on April 24, 2007, at 10:06:42
Racer is right - you certainly aren't alone with this issue. If you search the archives I bet you find several threads on calling or not calling.
My therapist would tell me all the time it was OK to call if I needed him. I felt like I was bothering him, even after we agreed that he would charge for phone calls of substance (length). Even after he told me that it helps HIM if I call instead of falling apart completely.
Eventually he said, "can we try an experiment? If you need me, you call me. Just during this time of our experiment. If it isn't working, we will call off the experiment." He even left me a message or two that ended with, "just call me, remember, experiment in process." yeah, yeah. :)
We've worked out a system of messages too. I call with check ins or updates and say, "you don't need to call me back." And he doesn't. Or I'll call and say, "I just need to touch base." He calls me back. Occasionally I'll say, "not my best day but you don't have to call me back if you are busy or something." If I turn my cell off, he leaves me a message. If he gets me, I get a lecture about being clear about what I need.
It's been almost 4 years -- this wasn't easy or immediate. So hang in there. You will figure each other out.
poster:Daisym
thread:752985
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070419/msgs/753213.html