Posted by littleone on April 14, 2007, at 22:03:56
On Friday my T and I talked about stories.
I had read a section out of "101 Healing Stories for Kids & Teens" by George W Burns that really upset me.
It talks about how we share stories with each other every day - when someone asks us how we are or what we did on the weekend. So much "small talk" is this sharing of stories. And it is all such an important part of life. Sharing and expressing our experiences and emotions enriches our everyday lives.
It made it sound like the sharing of our stories is what makes life worth living.
This upset me terribly. I hate small talk. I hate sharing stories. I don't care about other people's stories. I have never understood small talk. I have never understood the need people have to tell each other their junky stuff. It always seems like a waste of time to me. I only become interested if something deep is delved into.
I've talked about this with my T before about why superficial talk is important (eg to gradually build up relationships and trust, etc). But even then it still seemed like something to be worked at. A chore to do so you could get to the more interesting stuff.
But this book... it really made it sound like people *enjoy* this sort of sharing. It enhances their lives. It is rich and rewarding in itself, not just a stepping stone to the riches.
Is it any wonder I fail with people. I fail at life.
And then of course there are the deeper stories. I'm not necessarily talking about abuse stories here - more stories that are close to your heart and important to your self.
I don't have much of a life. A very big chunk of my day to day life is taken up with therapy, working on therapy issues and working with my parts. Not the sort of stories you can discuss with most people you know. And for me, the "close" people I should be able to tell my deeper stories to (ie my family) are unable or unwilling to hear my stories.
I have been un-heard my whole life by them. Is it any wonder I stopped telling my stories long ago.
And it's not just that I've been un-heard. Wanting to tell my stories invokes a very bad girl feeling in me. More exploration is required here.
I don't have a "support network". There's my T, there's me and occasionally there's babble. That's it. My T talked about how one of babble's big strengths is how it's a place to share our important stories.
So I wanted to tell that story to babble.
And my little dinosaur is listening in too. He's stayed in my T's office a lot since I got him. He used to hide there and spy on my T to see what he's really like. Now we're okay with our T and the dinosaur just likes to hide there cause it's safe. He's a paper-a-vore, so he nibbles on my T's books when he's hungry. He has come home with me this weekend so we can go to a special place together. He will keep me company and talk to me. He can roar at nasty people, but he's only a baby dinosaur so his roars are really little and quiet.
poster:littleone
thread:749901
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070406/msgs/749901.html