Posted by madeline on November 20, 2006, at 6:52:34
In reply to Re: please...., posted by sunnydays on November 19, 2006, at 21:42:29
Well, when I channeled it all into my therapist I had to deal with a lot of hurt (in addition to the hurt I felt about missing so much as a child).
I was quite an jolt when I realized that this man was never going to be my father, he could not ride me away on this white horse and save me.
I was not his kid, no matter how much I wanted to be.
It was a different kind of grief, but it was all rolled into grieving for my childhood.
So I got really really mad at him. I almost quit therapy over it. HE became everything bad that had ever happened to me.
But I didn't quit, I stayed in there, he understood how I felt and we worked through it. His unwavering support finally got though to me.
He was not going to be my dad, my lover, my best friend, but he was someone that was going to be with me while I went through this.
We have a really good relationship now and I have a lot more confidence when I deal with life.
I wish that there was some way I could reach out to you and make this pain go away, because frankly, it sucks.
But I had to do it, and maybe you do too.
Love and tears
Maddie
poster:madeline
thread:705101
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061109/msgs/705459.html