Posted by Jost on November 19, 2006, at 0:18:15
In reply to Re: please...., posted by sunnydays on November 18, 2006, at 22:11:55
Hi, Sunnydays.
Don't take what was said in the DBT group in that way.
I don't know the context, but I do know that you need to look for soothing from other people. No one does it alone-- maybe some people are especially hardy and can survive mostly on their own, but it's very hard-- Everyone needs this from others. Now, esp. you need to feel you have the right to want and receive it.
Yes, there are the limits, and they are hard. But it's not your fault.
When you haven't learned that as a child, haven't been given that right-- it's terribly difficult to learn as an adult. But it does happen. It takes place in many ways-- and a very important part is allowing someone, like your T, to soothe you, gradually, over time, and therefore to become able to be soothed.
It's true, you have to go through these breaks and hard times. Times when it doesn't work. But gradually, you'll be able to do it internally. It will happen. It just takes time.
Hang in there.
Jost
poster:Jost
thread:705101
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061109/msgs/705148.html